Learn English with Rick and Morty

– Hi guys! I am Rick and he’s Morty. And here we are to make you learn English, you lazy ass.
– Oh geez, Rick, don’t say that or they won’t want us to learn our language.
– Look Morty, I know how to deal with this kind of people. So let me…
– OK Rick, as you wish.
– Wubba-lubba-dub-dub! It’s time to know some fucking English! Let’s see… We’ll start with a hypotetical situation in a McDonald’s. I will represent an average fat American addicted to Internet who wants to get some fast food for his slow stomach. Did you get it? Of course not, you non-English assholes… And Morty will be a college student who works there so he can pay his studies eventually, because his parents are such lazy asses like you in learning English. All right, leeeeeeeet’s start, motherfuckers!

IN A MCDONALD’S

– Hi! What would you like to order?
– Well, why… Why would I have to order something? I mean… I am a dumb and fatty American who spends his whole life playing on World of Warcraft. What if I want some human contact? Talk and having a conversation to be not about Windows, Yahoo… You know, the kind of things the youth talks about nowadays.
– But Rick, what the hell? This is a McDonald’s, not a support group for obese people.
– Calm down! I am getting into the character, talk like him. OK, let’s start again.

IN A MCDONALD’S / TAKE 2

– Hi! What would you like to order?
– Well, hello. I would like to buy a… Wait, what’s that? Is that even a burger?
– Rick!
– THAT’S NOT A BURGER! That’s what you give to a pig when you run out of steroids!
– Does that matter? Just order something, come on!
– Okay, okay, I’ll do it…

IN A MCDONALD’S / TAKE 3

– Hi! What would you like to order?
– Hello, I will have what farmers come to buy for their animals.
– Uh… Could you please point it?
– Yeah, THAT.
– I got it. Anything else?
– Yeah, give me a burger for my dog, too.
– Um, which one?
– Wait a second… Do you still have the Whopper?
– Sorry sir, but that’s a product we don’t sell. It’s from another company.
– Oh. Yeah. Then… I will pick some Kentucky Fried Chicken.
– Damn it, Rick!
– What? What if one of our students is vegetarian? Because all burgers of McDonald’s contain meat!
– That’s why only people who eat meat go there!
– Well, then they should expand their offer of food! Vegetarians and activists are… are not a minor society group anymore. If they… If they want to keep obtaining benefits from selling burgers made of cows shit, they will have to make new different things!
– That’s it, Rick! I can’t stand it!
– Come on! I won’t tell more jokes! I promise!
– Fine! Behave like a normal person, OK?
– Okay.

IN A MCDONALD’S / TAKE 4

– Hi! What would you like to order?
– Hello, I will have a Happy Meal.
– All right…
– Um, just one thing.
– Yeah?
– Could you please add an extra of happiness in it?
– Oh… Yes, of course.
– Thanks.
– What burger do you prefer in the Big Mac?
– I don’t know…
– Would you want the biggest one?
– That’s what I said to your mom, and yes, I’ll have it.
– All right… Yeah… Fries, carriots or small tomatoes?
– Are the fries too spicy?
– No, they just have a little salty flavor.
– That’s what your mom said, and I’ll choose the fries.
– You don’t make it easy… Water, soft-drink…?
– Water.
– Okay. And which dessert would you like? McFlurry, yoghurt or Actimel?
– But, what colour is and what smell Actimel has?
– I won’t say it.
– Say it. The costumer is always right and tells what to do.
– Just… It’s white and smells good.
– That’s what…
– Don’t say “that’s what your mom said”.
– Okay, right…
– Finally…
– That’s what your dad said. I’ll have that.
– Yeah, keep doing that. Anything else, dear costumer?
– Nop. Well, a Big Mac. Or as I call it: a Pig Mac.
– FUCK RICK! THAT’S IT!
– And that’s the waaaaaay… the business goes!
– GOODBYE RICK!
– Lick, lick, lick my baaaalls, McDonald’s. Yeah, lick them, they taste a little salty.
– That’s what your mom said, Rick…
– DAMN IT, MORTY!

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